Session 1
Treating Dastont Like a Dirt Bag
Forward
The continent of Arengard was not united under a single empire, but instead ruled by nation states throughout. The greatest nation state, Odem, was most known for its grand parties by the wealthy elite. For the poor, however, Odem had a different reputation. Of the nation states of Arengard, Odem had the widest economical divide. The wealthy elite made up a single percent of the city's population, but accounted for about ninety percent of wealth.
King Dassul Odem, or the Tyrant King Dassul as he was known by the peasantry, had recently died. His successor, Queen Tyralle, had proven to be a kinder ruler than Odem had ever known before. Unlike her predecessors, Tyralle quickly and effectively made changes to improve the quality of life for the working class. This development was not at all popular among the elite, and their murmuring of treason grew ever louder.
Roberto made his way to Odem in hopes to proselytize, though truly, petitioning support for a figurehead of atheism could hardly be called proselytizing. His main goal in his mission to Odem was to convince Tyralle, whom he'd heard was fairly receptive to progressive ideas, to adopt atheism as the official religion of Odem. He arrived at Odem's castle at around 3:00 in the morning, but, not wanting to delay, Rob immediately made his way for the castle.
It's not at all uncommon for a Second Son of the Fireforge to explore the world searching for glory, and that's exactly what Thoradin had chosen to do. At the time, he had been working as a castle guard for Queen Tyralle, though he didn't expect to be working there long. As soon as something else grabbed his attention, he'd be off. As he was low on the totem pole, Thoradin was stuck with one of the less favorable shifts, and at the moment he found himself struggling to stay awake at the ripe hour of 3AM.
Rolen grew up the streets. He didn't know anything else. He was the best thief in Odem, and the other thieves in town knew it. The time was 3 AM and Rolen was on the prowl. He found himself following some cleric-looking guy on the way to the castle. The guy looked rich, vulnerable, and of an average intelligence. Just the kind of prey Rolen likes.
Roberto approached Thoradin as he leaned against the castle wall, and said jovially, "what are you doing here?"
Sardonically, Thoradin replied, "my job."
The three heard a crash coming from the castle. Thoradin, doing his duty as a guard of the queen, went inside to investigate. Hoping for another chance to make a conversion, Roberto followed. Still lurking in the shadows, Rolen kept a safe distance, looking inside the castle through the door the other two left open on their way inside.
As Thoradin and Roberto entered the castle, in the center of the gleaming marble room stood a hooded figure. He was clearly humanoid; though elf, human, tiefling, they weren't able to tell. On the man's face was a mask, pearl white, with a symbol on the front they didn't recognize. "You." He stated, and the two could tell his voice had been modulated, probably through magical means. At the man's feet was Queen Tyralle, frozen in stone, a shocked expression locked on her face.
Roberto asked the masked man sarcastically where he had gotten his mask from, and suggested it may have been a dollar store. Thoradin asked why he wore a mask, joking that he couldn't have been any uglier than Roberto.
The hooded man, tired by this, drew his sword, and after a slashing gesture, a portal seemed to have opened up. After one last look at the two, he grabbed Queen Tyralle with one hand, said, "Goodbye," and stepped through the portal. It closed.
After a moment of silent confusion, three portals similar to the one the man had stepped through opened up. Out of them stepped two winged-kobolds, and a wolf. Rolen approached one of the kobolds from behind and delivered a fatal backstab. Thoradin took on the other kobold, while Roberto handled the wolf. Unfortunately, the portals closed before the party was able to go through them.
From underneath some rubble the party heard some faint mumbling. "Anyone out there? Besides the scary guy?"
Roberto, not knowing how to handle the situation, called back, "no." Eventually, however, they decided to help this person, and so removed the rubble from on top of him. They found a gnomish man with a handlebar mustache about as tall as he was, named Vastille. Vastille was the chancellor, and had seen the action that went down. He goes on to recite exposition.
"Ah, friends, you see, our world has a dark secret. Phatax is a realm that exists on two planes. These realms exist parallel to one another, but are quite distinct. Through magical means one can travel from one realm to the other, and it seems like that's what the hooded man did. I beg you, brave heroes, find the princess."
Roberto interrupted Vastille, trying to convert him to the cause. Vastille agreed that atheism was probable, but didn't really care that much. The party refused to help before they discussed payment, however. Thoradin also wanted to be reimbursed for the two months he had worked as a guard without pay. The group followed Vastille back to his home, where he wrote Thoradin a royal check for 16 gold. He assured the group that if they were to find Queen Tyralle, they would be rewarded handsomely. The party was content with this, and asked how they might be able to find the queen. Vastille was happy to provide yet more exposition.
"When I first started working here, when I was a young and handsome gnome, I seem to remember the King having an amulet, one that allows the user to jump realms. When the sheer power of the amulet was discovered, the king made the smartest decision he ever had. He buried the thing in the cave system beneath the castle. I can lead you to the cave's entrance, if you wish, but no further. My fighting days are behind me."
Concerned with who had buried the amulet all of these years ago, the party asked to meet this person. Vastille didn't fully understand, but lead them to meet Dastont, a member of the castle guard. Dastont drew up a map of the cave, but the party wasn't satisfied with that, and asked Dastont to lead them. Dastont asked Vastille if he would allow this, and Vastille happily agreed. When Dastont inquired if the leave would be paid, Vastille quickly changed the subject and made his leave.
The party was lead by the Kind Dastont down to the castle's basement, and through the dungeon. A few of the prisoners tried to grab their attention, but Dastont urged the group on.
Delving deeper below the castle, the group made it to the cave system. Immediately faced with a decision of left or right, the group chose left. They made their way around, and in a clearing of the cave, found a pile of teeth. Roberto withdrew his jar, and, making sure not to touch the teeth, swept a few of them in. The party could see in the distance what looked to be a sleeping figure on top of a pile of gold.
Rolen stealthily approached the figure, only to discover it wasn't sleeping, it was a corpse. Rolen beckoned the rest of the group to him. The corpse, probably about 20 years old, had a distinctly fecal smell. The corpse's arm was extended, and its stump arm rested on a small pile of gold. The corpse's arm ended at the wrist, and the wrist was in a further state of decay than the rest of the body. It looked almost as if it had been burned.
Dastont confirmed that the gold was, in fact, cursed, and said whatever touched the gold was both burned and sent to the other dimension. Wanting to give the man a proper "burial," the three pushed the man into the gold, sending him out of sight.
Moving on, the party was ambushed in an alcove by more kobolds. Dastont, being the only human in the party, was forced to fight blindly, nearly attacking Rolen by mistake. Despite this, the kobolds proved not to be much of a challenge.
Moving farther North into the cave, the teeth on the floor grew denser. They turned a corner, and found a giant frog sitting in the center of the room. He was surrounded by piles upon piles of teeth, some yellow, some pearly white. Behind him was a shelf of liquids in a wide variety of bottles. Upon noticing the three heroes, he said cheerfully, "Ah, guests! Come, see my wares!" The party learned the frog, who went by Mr. Frog, dealt not with gold, but with teeth. Roberto tried to use the teeth he had collected at the cave's entrance to buy a potion, but Mr. Frog recognized teeth from his own collection when he saw it.
The party inquired about the amulet they were sent to find, and Mr. Frog's eyes lit up. "Ah, the Arrind Amulet. Yes I have it. But it will cost you more than teeth. There is an orc that lives in this cave, along with his goat friend. They are very loud. Would you mind telling them to be a little more quiet? Then, I will give you the amulet."
The party left Mr. Frog to have a chat with this orc. They came upon a door, and marked upon the front of the door was a crude painting of a smiling orc and a goat standing next to him. The heroes could hear grunting and goat noises beyond the door. Inside, they saw an orc man sloppily eating what looks like a bowl of soup. "This is very good Gort!" The Orc, Hutch, said. Hutch offered the group a bowl of soup, and they accepted. The conversation turned to how Hutch and Gort had met, and Hutch dove into the story. Hutch, in his glory days, was a bounty hunter. He had been hired by Gort, who was an aspiring politician at the time, to kill the reigning goat king Wynden Den. After that, Gort asked Hutch on a date, and they soon moved in together.
The party asked Gort and Hutch to be a little more quiet. Without hesitation, the orc and goat agree to be less boisterous. The party said goodbye to their newfound friends. Thoradin especially had made a deep connection to Gort, as he spoke goatish.
They made their way back to Mr. Frog, and asked for the amulet that was promised them. Mr. Frog jumped excitedly from his pile of bones, and wiped away the bones until the pile was flat. From beneath some more bones, the party could see a small embroidered chest. The chest is slimy, but Rolen manages to open it nonetheless. Inside was, indeed, the Amulet of Arrind. From the moment Rolen touched the amulet, he felt a strong power, and knew that while touching it, he'd be able to jump to the alternate Phatax. As they were leaving that room of the dungeon, the room shook. Rocks crumbled, and the entrance they came through had been closed.
"Oh, shit!" Shrieked Mr. Frog, before he scurried his way into a tiny frog-sized hole. The moment Mr. Frog had left the room, Thoradin made his way to the shelf of potions, and pocketed himself a Potion of Giant Strength. The party theorized that the cave-in may not have happened on Phatax Beta (as they decided to call it). Roberto and Thoradin grabbed on to Rolen's shoulder, and the three made the jump. Dastont was left behind.
The group arrived in a room that looked quite similar to the one they had left. As they guessed, the entrance to this room of the cave was clear. Mr. Frog sat not on a pile of teeth here, but of fingers. Upon the party's entrance, Mr. Frog yelled, "Oh, shit!"
As the heroes move to leave, Mr. Frog cleared his voice. "Could I interest you in some magic brownies? This one here will only cost you a hand-full!" As can be expected, the party wasn't interested. Roberto remembered they had left their kind old guide behind, but when they went back to retrieve him, Dastont was not even the least bit angry. At this point, he just wanted to be rid of the group.
They started walking back to the entrance of the cave system itself, still on Phatax Beta, when they heard an alarming noise. A goat bleating angrily, and the pathetic whimpering of an orc. Thoradin was uninterested in investigating, but Roberto called out. The noises stopped for a moment, and then, in goatish, "this is none of your business, traveller." Thoradin agreed, but Roberto stood his ground.
The door of Gort and Hutch on Phatax Beta had a crude fingerpainting, much like the one on Phatax Alpha. This painting however, depicted an orc with no smile, and the goat looked extraordinarily angry. When the party refused to leave, the door slammed open. Inside was Gort, and he was pissed.
"It's none of your business!" He bleated, as he charged Roberto. The cleric took this attack like a champ, and grappled the giant goat. Rolen, again hiding in the shadows, moved around behind the goat to back stab him. Thoradin went inside the house to see if Hutch was okay. While there, he gave Hutch a pep talk. Hutch was an orc, and he didn't have to take any shit from a goat!
Hutch was convinced. He roared, and ran to Gort, who was still struggling to break out of Roberto's grapple. "Gort. I don't want to be your friend anymore! I want a separation!"
Gort roared. "It's my name on the lease Gort. I think you'd better leave." Roberto released the grapple, and Gort ran off, out of the dungeon.
The party could see the pain Hutch was in. It was at that moment they had a great idea. They suggested Hutch to move in with another goat and orc. Hutch was sold on the plan. The party, Dastont, and Hutch all grabbed onto the amulet, and were sent to Phatax Alpha. There they introduced Hutch to himself and Gort. Though confused, Hutch, Hutch, and Gort were willing to make it work. Again, they said their goodbyes.
Leaving the cave, and making their way again through the castle dungeons, Rolen decided to stay behind. Stealthily, Rolen manages to pee on one of the prisoners without him, or anyone else, even noticing. As Dastont makes his leave, Roberto convinces him that atheism is the truth.
As they met back up with Vastille, showing him the amulet, he asked meekly, "did you, maybe, find the princess too?"
Rolen scoffed, and said, "The masked man went through a portal, not an amulet."
Vastille nodded, looking baffled. He offered the party some guest rooms, and they happily oblige. Thoradin managed to convince Vastille to foot the bill for some prostitutes, and the three heroes have a fun night indeed. Roberto even manages to convince his prostitute of the wonders of atheism.